Quarantine Week 8

NEIGHBORHOOD GOSSIP During the weekly neighborhood "drinking at a safe distance" event, we were discussing a few things. Face-coverings and masks make our faces breakout. (I'm sporting a rash on my face from wearing my mask for hours this week.)Our neighbor, the asshat, was the subject of a multiple day police presence. And, apparently the …

Detainment Time & The Breaking Point

Warning: I'm in a funk this week. I don't want to trigger anyone, so if you are prone to fake sympathy, or bubbling up with unsolicited advice, please pass. It's week 7 and I'm in need of a good cry and an hour-long venting session. It's Never Going To End... It IsA Life Sentence For …

Detainment Date: Uh, it has DAY in it

Just a little vent-ing When I was a kid, I used to think that 1980 was so far away (it wasn't) and that 30 was old (it isn't). So, what else is knew? I've been home (for 6 weeks), working from home (for 6 weeks), moving my laptop from room to room so I feel …

Quarantine Log: Day # Does It Even Matter Anymore?

I've lost track. The only reason why I know it's Sunday is because I looked it up. The days have been a giant blur of fear-mongering, paranoia, rubber gloves, facial masks and any type of cleaning product. MY ADVENTURES IN APOCALYPTIC FOOD SHOPPING Where's the beef? In the beginning of the Great Pandemic, shortages in …

Quarantine Day #… who cares anymore?

I've tired of this pandemic bullshit. For a month all I've seen are the memes, the TikTok humorous family dance party and song remix videos, dancing nurses, fire sirens blaring outside of a hospital in honor of medical staff, Easter bunnies on fire trucks or in convertibles, kids celebrating their birthdays by waving to a …

Self-Quarantine Day #400001

It's been way too long since I sat in my uncomfortable desk chair, deflecting randos who bang on the door demanding tours, and watching the crazy neighbor in the next office stalking me from his car. I almost miss the insanity. (Almost.) I have been doing my due diligence, as I promised my boss. I …

Quarantine Day 3910: The 10 Plagues of Egypt

In the Old Testament, Moses was sent by Yahweh (God) to free the Israelites from captivity. When the Pharaoh refused, God sent ten plagues on Egypt. (From the Old Testament book of Exodus.) Plague of Blood (God ordered Aaron to touch the Nile River with his staff, which turned the waters to blood. All of …

Quarantine Day 293: I live in a box

I've lost track of the time that we've been in self-isolation, self-quarantine, self-introversion. Does it matter anymore? One day runs into another and becomes a month of smothering nightmares. The first day, I spent my entire time working in flannel pj bottoms and "social distancing" t-shirt. Sure, it was only me in my home office, …

Mandatory Self-Quarantine: Day 5.5

Day 5.5 (it might be less, I'm not sure anymore-- it feels like the Year of March 20th) of the State-Mandated Self-Quarantine for Non-Essential Workers.How is it going, you ask? BLOODY SPLENDID. Currently, I have 12 wood Easter-themed cut-outs to paint, a PowerPoint to create, a self-guided tour packet to finish, updated research for the …

Home Quarantine: Day 2

I used to dream of being home from work, spending the entire day on the couch, watching stupid tv shows. Well, I got part of my wish. A very small part. It has been a shit-storm of paranoia, panicking, and people running in circles screaming about the sky falling. I'm sitting here wondering how in …

Covid-19 is a germy teenager

This is week [pick a number] of the news being filled with cliff-hanging horror stories about this questionable Chinese-bat-brains-made-in-an-lab 3rd dimensional flu. Origin? Infected bat brains OR genetically modified for population control. Epidemic Status? The impactful loss and depletion of all of our toilet paper, hand sanitizer, soap, and cake mix sources. Pandemic Status? Vendors …

battle to the death and chocolate

The first time I met the person in the next building, it was after I sent a "I'm the new kid in the neighborhood and I just wanted to say hi." The email went unanswered. (Rude act #1) Two months later, a shiny, new jaguar arrives on the wrong way part of the driveway at …

finishing first and last and still winning

STANDARD APOLOGIES It's been awhile. I know. I know. Teaching used to afford me the never-ending stories about cheaters, grade bullies, bad administrators, crazy co-workers, stupid questions, even stupider questions, strange occurances and the like. But, now that I'm working in the real world, I don't really have much excitement to share. I turn on …

2019: Dragon’s Soup Bowl

Subtitle: The year that my life continued to suck but then changed, and now I'm an old fart with a bedtime and achy bones. January-to-early-Spring of 2019: I had been going through my 4th most-horrible-semester of my professional part-time career. I was spread too thin and was super exhausted with a side of cranky. I …

stories from the museum

Today was our last day of the season. I planned a particular type of museum day, one we haven't had before and it was in tune w/ the holiday season. Of the people who came to visit 85% (probably more like 93%) or so were happy to be a part of our special day. The …