Not giving up, not backing down

I get a churp from CNN on my blackberry while trying to power pee before my next class that a shooting occurred at Fort Hood in Texas.

Then, I turned on the news a few hours later to absorb the information.

When an Army Psychiatrist (note: with an Arabic name) goes postal on an army base (i.e. shooting up the place, screaming something about how Allah/God wills it), what does that tell you?  What it says to me is that either a) he was suffering from PTSD, b) had more than serious reservations about being deployed to Iraq, or c) had a jidadist desire to take as many infidels as possible with him… with one serious drawback– he SURVIVED being shot four times and is currently in stable condition at the base hospital. (Shit, I guess he doesn’t get those vestile virgins after all…)

This is a serious state of affairs, folks.  Not more than 18 hours later, the news is saturating our lives with the news of ANOTHER mass shooting, this time at an Orlando, FL business complex.

Hmm… things are broken, people.  Broken.

I am honestly sad for the soldiers and civilians whose lives were abruptly halted through the power of a sick individual.  I hope they throw the goddamn book of the law on him and it squishes him senseless.

And, having a cellmate named Jim Bob probably wouldn’t be a bad thing, either.  Jim Bob from the Deep South, who is from a LONG line of angry soldiers.

——–

I am doggie-paddling through this semester, gasping for air as I desperately cling to the side of the pool. 

And, I can’t believe I let work get in the way of my tyrannical bitching at my blog.  I seriously need to reassess what’s important to me.

Peeing… important (especially at the point where you find that you are dancing to keep from embarassing yourself)…

Sleeping… important, but is it really necessary?  (I’m finding that the more I am awake, the more baggy my eyes get.)

Taxes. Pfhbt! The government can SUCKIT! 

——–

Update on my name-calling colleague.

I get a phonecall from the HEAD DEAN at the college the other day… asking me about the situation, because MY tutoring supervisors told her about it. 

I’m not a shit-starter.  I dont’ even TRY to start shit.  However, I take it seriously when someone tries to mar my reputation.  If I called YOU a stinking asshole with a festering need to make my life miserable… and have never MET you before, then that would be defamation of character.

I feel so… defamed.  *sniiiiiiiiiff*

Yeah, no.  Like I give a rat’s ass what this faceless person thinks about me.  I’m TRYING to stay off the radar with administration (a trick I’ve still yet to master)…

I hope I get hired back next semester.  Bosses hate shit-starting female teachers who have this man-hating persona (one of my guy friends called me a Nazi-Fem) who is outspoken and takes no shit.  (That’s where I shoot myself in the foot.)

I think people have a hard time figuring out how to deal with me.  I am outspoken (to an extent).  If I’m MAKING a point, you betcha that I’ll speak up.  I spent too many years being complacent.  Now that I’ve found my voice, you bet your chair-indented bottoms that I’m going to be a voice to be heard… and possibly feared… like if your favorite aunt suddenly goes bonkers and everyone whispers…  except minus the passive crazy part.

And, most of all, I’m a straight-shooter. 

This is where my tourettes comes into play…

My brain sometimes is slower than the words that spill out of my mouth.  And, when that happens, there are people who are … moderately afraid… and then it causes them to put distance between them and me.

Do I care?  Maybe I need to…

——-

I’ve lost another friend.  My friend, S, who married a year ago and has a 6-month old baby.  She moved into a house about 15 minutes from my house… in September… and I’ve yet to be invited there.  I did ask her once, I think shortly after her move, if I could come see the house.  Her response was, “I’m not finished unpacking.”

That was over 2 months ago.  I called her Monday to offer my sympathy (a family member passed away) and she had a screaming baby on her shoulder.

That was the first time that I’ve spoken with her since the end of Sept.

I’m not calling her anymore… if she calls me, then she wants to keep our friendship alive.  I’m not going to discuss our friendship with a baby screaming.  And, if she won’t see me (or, rather, let me reword that… if she doesn’t have TIME to see me) or speak with me (without the benefit of a screaming child), then I’ll just let the friendship slide under the tide and settle wherever it settles.

She was a little smiffed that I’ve started hanging out with my friends from h.s.  I’ve done the new baby thing.  Three times.  After I was married, NONE of my single friends wanted to hang out with me anymore.  A few of them said to me that I was married and couldn’t hang out anymore.

I went from being a part of a large group of people to being alone.  Nary a friend to be found.  And, it was like that until I went back to college.

There are phases in my life where I either have a lot of friends around or none at all.

My h.s. friends are a lot more like me.  And, that’s a good thing.  We have a history and a lot in common…

I feel sad to let this friendship slide away… she and I have been friends for 12 years… and grew close the last few years before she got married.  but, she’s the type who will not invite friends to functions and only focus on her family.  If that’s what she wants to do, that’s fine.  But, my family is small… and fractured.  My friends are my family, which is why I always extend invites to my friends.

Her husband is a little weird, but he grows on ya.  (A little.  He’s still weird.)

Anyway, I have to get to grading or it’ll never get done.

Have a good weekend…