Step off

Well, I’m back.  At least for now.

I’ve collected two classes’ papers.  I have graded three and can tell you that my wish for my birthday, Christmas, and the handful of pennies that I threw into a fountain didn’t come true.

I’m hesitant to start reading them.  My spidey senses are tingling… and telling me that spelling, grammar, and following directions are the three things the students this semester have a difficult time with.

Speaking of spelling…

I do not like the Gosselins anymore.  I only watched the show every so often because the kids were absolutely adorable.  Mom’s a crank and dad’s a pig.

Dad is currently upset that he’s been “fired” from the show (omitting his name: ”Kate plus 8″)… and a friend or paparazzo buddy of his (no doubt) hung a sign on his gate to the McMansion that had spelling errors galore.

He was upset that the person who made the sign spelled HIS name wrong.

It also spelled “penalty” as “penelty”.

Okay… if you want people to take you seriously, get a proofreader.  Dumbass.

Back to my papers… and quizzes… and the nothingless void that has become my life.

I found out that a family in town put their house on the market and sold it in TWO WEEKS.  (bark)

TWO

WEEKS

*sighs*

*pouts*

In due time, people.  At some point in my life, I will be staring out my window at the Rocky Mts… putting my crazy life in NJ aside and starting something new (and hopefully better).  In the meantime, I’ll be spending umpteen amount of hours in my batcave writing, reading, and grading.

Oh, the life of a teacher… how much fun it is… to be me.

Here are some interesting emails that I’ve received this week. (The only thing changed here are the names.)

They may give you as much a chuckle as they did to me:

• Professor Herstory… is the Encyclopedia of American History an encyclopedia?  I can’t tell because its online.
• Hey… get me my grade, k?
• (20 minutes before class)  I want an extension on my paper. 
• I was booted from my online quiz. Restart it.
• Professor Lady, I wanna assk you if you can do me a farver.  I wanna get an a in ur class, but your hard.
• I know you don’t give ickstensions on papers and do not resetting the quizzes on the computer, but I was sick and now I’m still sick and I want more time.
• (15 minutes after test was taken in school) I cant wait anymore.  What did you give me on my test???

*chuckles*

I tell you, for as much as I love teaching college (repeat after me: no parents, no parents, no parents), these emails never cease to amaze me.  First of all, there are no manners… such as, “Dear Professor,” “Professor,” or “Mrs.”  Secondly, most of them never sign their names.  So I have to email back, “Who is this?”  I have even gone as far as emailing a student and explaining ettiquette… because if one more person calls me “hey”, I will respond with, “what the fuck do you want?”

I’m sure THAT’D get their attention.

I’ve already been in to the Assistant Dean to speak to him about a couple of things…

Like… this relatively EASY thing I do called ON LINE QUIZZES.  I use the school server and account to create a series of chapter quizzes that are OPEN BOOK and to be completed at HOME.

I’ve only seen 3 students score a 25 (out of 95 students)… most are barely passing with a 10/25 or 15/25.  Sad.

I even got an email from a student questioning my “difficulty”… “I think your questions for those open book quizzes are hard.”  GOOD, I say.  It’s an open book, it’s supposed to be hard.  My response was, “Welcome to college.”

Again… I still stand firm to the belief that not EVERYONE belongs in college.  But, let them try a semester at least to see if it is for them.  Just let those kids take someone else’s class for a change…

Oh… I have picked up tutoring hours at the college, as I’m sure I said once or twice before.  The combination of teaching them and then tutoring them is killing me.  By Thursday and Friday, I’m a zombie.

However, I have gotten closer to a few fellow staff members (about time… its only my 3rd semester here)… and we have fun, when we’re allowed to.  Sometimes when we’re not.

Speaking of fun…

My girlfriend from h.s. is in this week (tending to her mother who is dying slowly from cancer)… and she, along with another h.s. friend, were over last night, drank a LOT of wine, then drunk texted friends of our’s.

I’m a bad girl waiting to come out, I think.

My husband is sleeping in the big comfy chair while the three of us are sitting at my dining room table, huddled over my cell phone, as we’re texting silly shit to two of our guy friends from h.s.  One was at home sick, watching the game and the other is in the process of being trained for a new occupation over 6 hrs from here.

It was silly, dirty, nasty fun.  And, I am not ashamed… at all.  hehe…

Today, I find out that a mutual friend is upset that she wasn’t invited to our drunk texting thang… and feels left out, yet again, because she’s not married, has no kids, has no significant other, and for the life of me, and for reasons I can’t explain, thinks that by dressing like a slutty 16 yr old (she’s older than me), and by aggressively flirting with men (married AND single alike) that she’ll land a guy.

She’s already announced that she’d be people’s fuck buddies.

Ok, well… I guess I’m still a bit on the conservative side… even though I’m outspoken and can be abrasive (at times).

I don’t think that if you’re looking for a long-term, stable relationship with a nice guy that saying, “Can we be fuck buddies” is the best choice of words.

That more or less establishes your relationship as a big booty call.

I’m not a booty call type of girl.  I’m too ridiculously romantic to want to screw someone whom I don’t know and then never see them again.

I don’t know… maybe I’m missing something.

Oh well.

I’m off to bed.  I have been wanting to write for a while, but work just sucks up ALL of my awake time, it seems.  At least for now.

Toodles poodles!