I’m turning a leaf, of sorts. No more familial bitching. I need to get over this frumpity-frump-frump mood I’m in.
Color me different. I need to return to humor, its more fun.
About 30 seconds ago, I walked into the bathroom (the window faces the driveway) to see if my husband was home yet and before I realized my 6-year old was IN there doing his business the… odor de jour whacked me in the face like a wet tuna. (I blame my iPod… I’m rocking out to some group my son told me I’d like… Lost Prophets… “The New Transmission”. Again, he’s right.)
So… one whiff and it was like… Hello… geezus, child. What DID you eat today? (Day 5 of hamburgers… voluntarily… grilled outside by his teenage brothers who are hell-bent on eating me out of house and home… and see two freezer bags of leftover hamburgers from the graduation party and think… “free food”. I need a better job that’ll at least pay for the food bill. And I need to buy better air fresheners. *gak!*)
My 6-year old has a habit of slapping me in the butt when I walk by. He’ll probably end up a construction worker. If only he could whistle…
Letting go means not text-nagging your kids to see where they are ALL of the time. I just don’t like surprises unless they include cake and presents.
And, after venting my ENTIRE childhood out on this blog, I (again) have realized that if I don’t start writing funnier shit, you guys will stop reading me… or call Dr. Phil so he can rationalize me into a coma.
Am I the ONLY female out there who doesn’t watch Oprah? I think she’s annoying. I was once lectured by an ardent fan that I am not a real woman if I don’t at least see Oprah four times a week.
Dude, I have watched THE COLOR PURPLE at LEAST 10 times and I have cried every single time. I think I’ve earned the right to not watch her talk show.
And, with that, I will be logging off to get dinner cooked and perhaps later, I will return to “writing of the lessons”… as I prepare for another FUN-FILLED semester with (complacent and boring) college freshmen.
Uh, my 6-year old now can whistle… he’s well on his way to a construction career after all!
(I feel better, in case you’re wondering.)
Posted by cocoabean on June 16, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Guess I’m not a real woman then either, since I think I’ve watched one Oprah show since she started. One was enough.
Posted by g on June 16, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Trivia… Did you know she was supposed to be called Orpha, but the hospital screwed up? Both are awful, if you ask me.
Posted by poolagirl on June 16, 2009 at 11:20 pm
Orpha sounds like a whale.
Posted by G on June 17, 2009 at 9:13 am
Surprise… she’s a whale-o-a girl.
Posted by l'empress on June 16, 2009 at 9:32 pm
I’m not a real woman either… but I knew that already. After all, I’m the one who tired of ladies magazines before I was out of my teens.
I thought she was supposed to be called Orpah (as in the sister-in-law of Ruth).
Posted by G on June 17, 2009 at 7:51 am
Maybe that’s it… See? I would’ve screwed it up too. But, as Poolie said, it still sounds like a whale. Bleh!
Posted by Paula G From Indiana on June 16, 2009 at 10:35 pm
No real woman here either. I can’t stand Oprah/Orpah/Orpha. I think she is the biggest phoney baloney on tv and she is spawning more phonies, like “Dr” Phil. All that free stuff that “she” gives? Like that time “Oprah gave free cars” – the companies give that stuff! Pontiac donated all those cars and she gets the credit. -gag- I can’t believe that I am still so naive that I am astounded at how dimwitted people are to watch and believe this crap.
Posted by G on June 17, 2009 at 7:52 am
Yeah, there was a catch with the cars. The people had to pay taxes on them. A lot of the recipients were certainly caught by surprise. If I’m going to give out free cars, it certainly wouldn’t be PONTIACS. Cheap-o.
Posted by gomerX on June 18, 2009 at 8:29 pm
I can’t speak for others, but I absolutely adore you and couldn’t not read your blogs, with or without whine. You are real and funny too. That’s why I like you and will read you til you stop writing.
Posted by G on June 19, 2009 at 8:29 am
Wow. GomerX… that was really nice of you to say. I started this blog during my first year of teaching to deal with the immense stress I was experiencing… and it was suggested by a friend of mine, to write it all out. So, that’s where it began. At times, its funny (even I get a chuckle), but other times its heart-wrenching… but once I’ve written it down, it can be medicinal. So, thank you for that. Hopefully, it’ll more more funny and less whining… but who knows.