What I (don’t) like about you…

There are THREE things I want to talk about in this post: the excessive use of CROCS as acceptible footwear, the shock I felt when I saw Hillary stumping for Obama, and text messaging.

When we were in Tenn-eh-OHBYGOLLY-see a few years ago, I first noticed people proudly stomping around in rubber clogs.  In fact, I recall driving into Gatlinburg to meander (again) when I saw an older man my father’s age wearing a pair of brown clogs.  I have this horrible habit (at times) of saying spontaneous things while the car window is open.  I usually try to wear sunglasses so that people do not realize that I’m looking at them.  My mouth must’ve dropped when I saw this man in his polo shirt, khaki shorts, all clean cut and cologne-wearing with BROWN RUBBER CLOGS.  He looked back at me with a look of solemn resignation, as if he were thinking, “My WIFE made me buy these stupid pieces of shit.”  I felt bad for that man, and still do.

Then, while sitting and people watching along the main street of Gatlinburg, I counted how many people I saw in crocs, in crocs while wearing a mullet, or in crocs with those stupid little charms clipped on who were old enough to drink in most states.  The number was STAGGERING, though I have to admit, the mullet-wearers outnumbered the croc-wearers… another EXTREMELY disturbing trend that, by all accounts, should have ended by 1991 at the latest.  (Don’t smirk. My guestimations aren’t far off when I say that I believe a great many of you either HAD a mullet (of some variation), OR dated/married/were related to someone WITH a mullet.  Right?)

We created a new motto for Tennessee that say, “The Land Where the Mullets Have Never Died.”  Yes, it’s long, but it is true.

Then, once we returned home… well, I say this with a big fat tear dangling from my lower eye lashes… my nieces were wearing dirty crocs.

“WHY do you let them wear those stupid-looking things?” I asked my sil.
“They LIKE them, I have no say in it,” she said raising her hands in her defense.
“YOU bought them,” I responded and quietly thought to myself (without moving my lips, “Sometimes it’s OK to say NO”).

By the way, growing up in the 1980s, I knew many girls who wore jellies.  My own GRANDMOTHER had a few pairs (which I admonished when I saw them).  “They’re COMFORTABLE,” they would all say.  I dunno.  Maybe it’s me, but I can’t see how RUBBER is comfortable, not to mention, explain to me how it doesn’t cause your feet to sweat.  You know that they do… in fact, I overheard my sil say to my older niece, “Those things STINK… leave them in the garage.”   Thar’s proof in the pudding there, eh?

Needless to say, this is my beef with Crocs and any rubber clog used by people who are neither nurses/doctors NOR 5 year olds… ditch the rubber shoes.  They cause your feet to sweat.  Even if you put 50 charms on your crocs, they will NOT suddenly be cool. They do not have the same support as a pair of sneakers or good sandals.  They are, nor will they ever be, as cool as FLIP FLOPS.  I rest my case.

I know you don’t want to read about my distain for Hillary anymore, so I’ll make this short and sweet.

I do not believe that she is sincere when she says, “Barack will be a fantastic president.”  I also get skiddish when I hear them say things like, “McCain is just another extension of George Bush.”  I think a lot of people say that, but I was all ready to vote for him in 2004.  I’d hate for the guy to have his reputation marred by Hillary… so my suggestion to the wise Senator is this… FIRE BACK, man.  Do not let that gnarly-faced-pant-suit-wearing-married-to-a-whoremonger-cackle-happy politican fling poo without responding.  And, for the love of all that’s twinkly and bright, DO NOT ASSOCIATE YOURSELF WITH BUSH.  His approval ratings are in the single digits, my man.  You want to win this bitch?  Put distance between yourself and the Bushmeister.  It’ll be better for you in the end if you do that now… as opposed to letting the one who wouldn’t LEGGO of the political eggo called “DEMOCRATIC NOMINEE” call you OUT.  Dude, you LET the Vietcong torture you for FIVE EXTRA YEARS… don’t let either Clinton drop a flaming poo bomb on your campaign.  Your wife is way too hot (and rich) to NOT become 1st lady. 

(Truth be told, there’s something about Michelle Obama that I do like.  However, Cindy McCain reminds me of a pearls-and-gloves 1950s mother that can vacuum AND make the best chocolate chip cookies EVER.  There’s something maternal about her that I like.  It also doesn’t hurt that she’s filthy rich from selling BEER.  You HAVE to like that about her.)

My last comment is in regards to text-messaging.

I text message.  I’ve text messaged since text messaging STARTED.  EVERYONE in my house text messages, sans the 5 year old, who pretends TO text message on an old (dead) cell phone we have.

What’s my beef with it?

Kids today are losing the ability to socialize IN PERSON.  My son would rather TEXT someone than to call them.  He’s shy (#2) and would just as soon stick a red hot poker in his eye than to speak to someone on the phone.  Instead, he opts to text.

Now that we have UNLIMITED texting, the kids are ALWAYS texting… #1 son sent and received 4800 last month, whereas #2 son sent about 2800.

All of this fantanstic technology is causing this generation and probably the next couple after them to be socially retarded.  They can’t answer the phone properly, they don’t know how to speak to people on the phone, they even get crazy-eyed when they even have to ANSWER the house phone (mine do at least).  What ever happened to the days when one person would monopolize the house line for HOURS… ignoring call-waiting… ignoring other’s pleas to get OFF of the phone?  Have we made it too easy for kids to hide who they’re speaking with?  Or make it harder to monitor what they’re talking about?  Do we even know what they’re texting to their friends?  Or, maybe it’s NOT their friends that they’re texting.  Either way, we need more face-to-face (or phone-to-face) conversations… not texting the person sitting 2 inches from you. 

One short story then I have to go get ready to go out…

My oldest was texting with my husband’s cousin’s daughter after seeing them last summer… nearly daily for MONTHS.  When we went to visit them in December, they couldn’t even speak to one another.

So, being the BOLD one, I said, “[#1 son], why don’t you text [cousin's daughter] and ask her if she wants some iced tea.”

They were sitting NEXT to one another.

Does texting make us braver than if we had to speak to the person verbally? Perhaps.  I know that lately, I’ve been avoiding conversations via text OR email that need to have my personal expression.

Like… ex-friend T sending me a Hallmark card to my email (which I haven’t opened yet and deleted from my email).  If you want to TALK to me about something, iron out a problem, or yell at me…CALL ME ON THE PHONE or MEET ME IN PERSON.

If you have a beef with me… you need to say it out loud TO my face or I will not respect you.

We all know how THAT friendship worked out.  *PFFFBBBBT*

Ok, time to get ready to go out. It’s our LAST kid-free night.  (I’m hoping that we get in WAY before 1am.  I’m STILL dragging from LAST night.)

I don’t know if I’m able to do this “party til you drop” thing anymore… *sighs*