Comments on: AAAAArgh

By: piltdownman

piltdownman — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 15:46:20 +0000

Oh my God. I’m so sorry to hear of the abuse you suffered. I can’t really imagine. You are a testament to your own strength that you’ve survived and thrived after withstanding (suffering) all that abuse.

Your standing up to him was great. I can understand you might be quite shaken by this latest confrontation. Confronting your father is an incredibly huge step toward your own growth and freedom.

Wow… What you went through is so horrible. It makes what I dealt with seem a little less horrible. My parents were both emotionally detached. My father was very detached. They knew nothing of what my life was really like. I read of your dread waiting for your father to see your report card with a bit of envy. My parents never knew when I got my report cards. It would take them weeks to read and sign them for me to take back to school. At least he expressed an interest. ( I fully realize that his “interest” was all about him and not really about you.) At least you were acknowledged as being there.

I hate trying to compare what you went through with my own experiences. It hurts to even think of it. I’m sorry you had to go through all that.

6/18: I knew you’d be back! If there’s anything that I’ve learned being my father’s daughter is that I’m my father’s daughter to a point. My father’s issues have been MY issues for far too long. I think it’s time that he grow up. Have a good one– Herstory07

By: G

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 20:05:16 +0000

Granted… my dad is ALWAYS nice to people… and can be charming. But, I used to get annoyed when he would act like that b/c I knew what he could be like at home.

By: shipjumper

shipjumper — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 17:31:56 +0000

Hugs to you while you reflect on your early years growing up with such an abusive man. No kid should have to live in that kind of fear. I agree with the few that have already said how important it is to admit your mistakes to your kids, apologize and try do better next time. It is so very important that kids realize parents are human too and screw up.

By: l'empress

l'empress — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 12:56:57 +0000

The only good thing that came out of all that was that you learned to stand up to a bully. (That’s something that took me many years; my dad was one of the world’s good guys.)

You’re a better parent than either of yours, which is proof (if you really need it) that you’re a helluva lot smarter than the old man ever gave you credit for. I would be so tempted to send a Father’s Day card that said, “from the stupid bitch — no need to reply!” But then, I am the kind of person who writes offensive people out of my life, and it’s harder to do when they’re parents.

By: Holly

Holly — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 10:49:56 +0000

Its good for teens to know that parents aren’t perfect. I’ve made several mistakes with Warren, bu tI try to own up and appologize when I know I was wrong {and the meds make it easier for me to think about my words, which don’t always sound to others the way the sound to me}. I’m sorry your father was such a sad angry man, who couldn’t appreciate what he had. It was his problem that had nothing to do with you or your brother/mother. I was lucky enough to have an excellent father, though he was far from perfect. The more I read about other people’s childhoods, the luckier I feel.

By: Blue Opal

Blue Opal — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 03:49:56 +0000

You can never help anyone like that, nor change them. Everything your father does and says are by choice – HIS choice, and the consequences will be HIS consequences. If there is such a thing as reincarnation, Heaven help him.

By: herstory07

herstory07 — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 00:58:09 +0000

Amen to that. I’m a yeller and hate it, too.

By: beanie

beanie — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 22:42:08 +0000

My parents yelled too, but never abusively. I’m sorry you went through that, but one of the best things you can do for your kids is admit when you are wrong and apologize. It’s good for them to know that parents are human and make mistakes. It IS hard to be the parent of a teen, especially when you know they aren’t doing their best.

By: boXx

boXx — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 21:07:02 +0000

((((hugs))))) I am so sorry you had such an abusive father. I had the best Dad in the world who absolutely ADORED me. I miss him dearly, it has been 10 years since he died. No one ever expected ANYTHING of me. Out of 6 kids I was the only one to even graduate from High School. I used to feel ashamed of my straight A’s because my siblings told me I was trying to make them look bad.

By: Bunny828

Bunny828 — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 20:46:18 +0000

I don’t remember you saying that about your father before. That’s awful. My mother was a yeller. She doesn’t curse much, but she often said words I would have rather not have heard. Words that stuck with me in spite of an apology. I’m a yeller too. I so wish I wasn’t. It’s a pattern I fall into when I’ve reached some sort of edge. I apologize too, and I wonder what my daughter remembers of the experience.

Sometimes we have to let them fail, sometimes it’s the only way they learn, when the ramifications of their actions catch up with them. I know I was that way. (Not that I think the yelling you or I recieved as a child was helpful. Not even all the yelling I do now is helpful.)